No going out

I won't be able to write three sentences. That's how tired I feel now. Unpacking and giving your old stuff a spot in the new house is an enjoyable yet also a physically and even mentally exhausting process. By the end of the weekend it should be a fully functioning and lovely house we can call 'home.' Now we will call it the night...tomorrow noon it needs to be ready to receive our first visitors!

Moving in...

Finally allowed in our new place today... and this is how things went: the first few moments were actually nice. We had a pizza and a glass of wine. However, within half an hour of being left alone with just the two of us, a heavy discussion was unleashed about jobs, earnings and savings. Referring to the past the "Good Samaritan" feels underprivileged while I am paying half no matter what my income is - it's probably going to be lower. At the suggestion that I might get part of an inheritance split normally over 36 months at double the rate I received it the past year -meaning I would get more or less the same amount of money over the next 12 months than she earns instead of half of her hard work earnings over a 24 months period- she shrieked "that's more than I make monthly." Barely able to hide how unfair and unjust she thinks that is before starting to plan on how I shouldN'T spend it.  Well, it is a general and well known rule of human nature saying that "if you don't discipline yourself you will soon find someone else doing it for you." Unfortunately for her I do discipline myself. Equally unfortunate for her is the fact that she has no majority stake nor a majority voice in any use or expenditure of and on "the commons." Though she already tries to meddle with resources that are not in her control whatsoever. Running a household indeed resembles setting out an economic policy. Hence the etymological origin of the word "economy" which in old Greek literally means "household." Sometimes I feel like we are playing a game of Wallonia-Flanders except that the glory of the weaker player is around the corner instead of already belonging to the past. It's easy to push your partner around when he or she is -strictly economically speaking- inferior. But it's really not hard to rectify this lopsided relationship. The oppressor can soon become the oppressed in a world deprived of any chance of actual equality.

Another lonely day...

For the first time in a while we had breakfast together after paying a visit to the bank to buy some insurances. It felt good. We can keep each other safe but I wonder if one should settle for that?

So the day started exciting but from breakfast it went, well, pretty much downhill. Okay I met some people throughout the afternoon but none of them could actually interest me at that point. Instead of maintaining long and useless conversations I continued a bit in Susan Senior Nello's book until I began to feel tired from playing table tennis -and winning- against some of the self-declared champions of Pangaea. 

Then I went back to my temporarily "shack" with old furnitures and a mattress on the wooden floor because of last weekend's little bed accident. I thought of starting to pack my things but instead I laid down and rested my eyes and my legs -still a bit stiff from Sunday's football game- a bit.

After that I went for some chicken and a pint. There, in the Irish pub, I met Guthemberg, the Brazilian guy with a crazy afro. We had a few Guinness and laughs. Then I left to rent a movie and went home. After all, it was another lonely day...

There is no place like home.

Today I walked around the city a little bit. There was only one thought on my mind: two more days and we can move in in our new house. Finally! This place here is driving me crazy. It's like being cast back in time. I try to avoid everyone here as much as possible. Surely they are nice people but I wouldn't know what to talk about with them. Of course I could whip out the usual student small talk but what's the point?

I'd rather hide out with the Romanians and have a few laughs instead... most of them at my expense but still... they have this genuinely gentile ability of making you feel you belong there.  

A journey into the blogosphere

Early this morning I found myself to be the only soul sitting in the library. The personnel wasn't too excited to see the first "client" of the new academic year but that's probably because they didn't even have the time to drink their first cup of coffee in all tranquility. So when they started to put some of the books back on the shelfs, I was already reading "The European Union: Economics, Policies and History" by Susan Senior Nello in the hope to find some answers to a couple of very urgent questions: what to do with my future? Which road to take this year? Should I start working, finish the master I started or start afresh with a new program that would quench my thirst for knowledge. I'm inclined to chose for the latter option. Though before rushing into a decision I will first consult with the faculty's study adviser this afternoon. One thing is for sure, whatever choice I will eventually (have to) make, this will be the actual start of my life. For the first time I feel like I processed and even conquered the difficulties and traumas of the past. Now I will only look at the future and take matters firmly into my own hands so as to eventually become the man I want to become. A man able to take the lead when needed. A man who is reliable with shoulders strong enough for others to lean on. A man with a purpose and a vision. A man of value.
That brings me to the reason why I decided to create this blog. It will help to keep a record of this gradual transformation. A metamorphosis from a somewhat boyish young man -jeopardizing his freedom and independence by wallowing too much into the mire of the past until it leads to demotivation and inertia- to a strong character ready to express his will and with his eyes at all times directed to the future.
The blog will be something like a public journal. And because of its open nature it might be more than just a storage room for my streamlined thoughts, actions and activities... perhaps it can be a vessel floating on an infinite ocean of possibilities but guiding me eventually to save shores. So for those of you who read this, feel free to help orientate this vessel so that it won't get lost on the high seas of life.